London’s Tallest Buildings: A Brutally Honest Review
The Londonist article, “London’s 100 Tallest Buildings: Bitchily Reviewed,” offers a highly subjective and often scathing appraisal of the city’s loftiest structures, including a handful of non-building constructions. Employing “in-depth expert architectural nous,” the piece humorously dissects the aesthetic merits and failures of these towering additions to London’s ever-evolving skyline. The overarching “definition” of the article is a critical, informal ranking, urging architects not to sue over its playful yet brutal honesty.
The primary “risks” or criticisms highlighted throughout the review revolve around poor design, blandness, and a perceived lack of originality. Many buildings are dismissed as ugly, uninspired, or even detrimental to the urban landscape. Examples include the Stratosphere Tower, dubbed the “height of ugliness,” and Conington Road, described as a “Colossal Pantone chart ranging from Bisto to piss.” The 25 Churchill Place is mockingly called a “cheese grater” that isn’t even the actual Cheesegrater, while the Euston Tower is likened to “salt cellar” to the wound of ripping down the Victorian Euston station. Other structures are lambasted for being “monstrosities” (One The Elephant), “intensely insipid” (10 George Street), or a “low res jpg of the Cheesegrater” (Imperial West Residential Building). The infamous Walkie-Talkie (20 Fenchurch Street) is noted for being “hunched over in perpetual shame,” with its architect even disowning it.
Despite the largely negative commentary, a few buildings receive relative praise, implying some “benefits” in terms of design or iconic status. The Shakespeare Tower is deemed “more lovely and more temperate than most,” and Keybridge Lofts is admired as a “jaunty redbrick sculpture.” Iconic structures like Wembley Stadium and the London Eye are “up there” and “roundly brilliant,” respectively. The BT Tower is celebrated as a “Whovian masterpiece,” and The Gherkin is quaintly referred to as dating back to “Norman (Foster) times.” The Scalpel is lauded as “sharp, handsome, knows what it wants to be,” while The Cheesegrater is appreciated for “politely lean[ing] out of the St Paul’s sightline.” Ultimately, the article serves as a biting, yet entertaining, commentary on London’s modern architectural landscape.
(Source: https://londonist.com/london/features/londons-100-tallest-buildings-reviewed)
